Diary of a Side Chick – Makhwapheni Episode 446

“I am very sorry. You know why I am apologising” – Lesego Maake


It might be seem like something small to other people, but when you love something wholeheartedly you will always smile when it is presented to you. Try to imagine Beyoncé personally dropping her CD to her fan. It would be a day the fan would never forget. Try to imagine Kaizer Motaung dropping a Kaizer Chiefs t-shirt to a diehard Kaizer Chiefs fan. It will be the day the fan will never forget. When your man goes all out to find something you like and deliver it to you, that is massive. I was wowed beyond the word. I didn’t know how to react. Lehlohonolo extended his hand to greet me. It was hard to believe that a young black man from a township could come up with something so nice. VTK Ultra Smooth vodka is not just any ordinary, it’s a masterpiece. Hloni told me he didn’t have much time because he was meeting some suppliers. He told me he would come back the following day to have a meeting with us to finalize the sponsorship deal. Mpho was full of surprises. I didn’t expect him to pull that one. The sad part was I was not going to drink any booze at my wedding because of pregnancy. I told Mpho I wanted 10 bottles of VTK after giving birth. He laughed and told me he would buy the entire stock for me if it would make me happy. That is what every girl wants in a relationship. We want a man who will go to extra lengths to make us happy. Some men will only try to make you happy when they want to get laid. I walked back to the house and found everyone chatting and sharing jokes. Mpho’s aunt looked at me and asked if I finished my coffee. I went “it was very nice, Rakgadi. I think next time when I want coffee I will come straight to you. You should open your own coffee shop”. She smiled and told me it was her token of apology for the way she treated me earlier. Dick went “Sharon, if I were you I would be worried. The last time my sister apologised the person died the following day. I am very worried that she is apologizing to you”. One of Mpho’s uncles told him he was out of order and he apologised. It seemed like Mpho’s family knew her very well.


I went outside to check if the dog was still alive. I found it lying on the lawn with blood coming out of its mouth. It was quite clear I was right about Sebolai. She wanted to eliminate me for good. I went inside the house to tell Mpho what happened with the dog. He immediately called the security guards to ask for our neighbour’s number. You know people in the burbs can be neighbours for 100 years without knowing each other’s names. In the townships we know each other so well we even a database of our neighbours’ dick sizes. Mpho got the number and called the neighbour. Luckily they were around. They took their dog and rushed it to the vet. They looked so sad you would swear the dog was their baby. I told Mpho what really happened and he didn’t believe. He accused me of hating his aunt. I didn’t have time to argue with him because I could see he had already chosen a side. I went back to the house and asked for a moment with my mom. We got in the car and drove to Mall of Africa. I told her about what Mpho’s aunt did and she went furious on the spot. She told me to stop the wedding immediately because she was not going to sell her beautiful daughter to a family of witches. I tried to reason with her that it was the aunt and not Mpho who that tried to kill me. She went “I do not give a damn. That woman and Mpho’s father come from the same womb. All of them are the same. If you continue with the wedding they will kill you. I am not going to let that happen. Did I tell you that your grandmother tried to kill me because she didn’t want me to be with your father? I don’t want that to happen to you my child”. I could see there was nothing I could do to win that argument. Black mothers are very protective with their daughters, especially when coming to their in-laws. We did little shopping at the mall and drove back to the house afterwards. Mpho’s aunt was the first to welcome us when we got to the house. My mom wanted to take her on but I begged her to behave like a decent woman. I didn’t want her to cause drama in front of my in-laws. I knew my mom had some rachetness in her.



Eunice was back at the house. She wanted to show me her Cape Town pictures but I wasn’t in her mood. She went “I am sorry my friend. I know you are angry I went to Cape Town with your father-in-law. You need to understand that I am adult and I can make decisions that make me happy”. I told her I was too busy to be listening to her Cape Town stories. The wedding stress was starting to mess with my head. You can have a wedding planner but your mind will never have a rest because you wouldn’t want anything to go wrong. Mpho asked where I was and I told him I took a drive with my mom. He told me thought about what I said about his aunt and apologised for not believing me. I asked him why he was apologizing and he told me that he had a meeting with his aunt and she told him he was making a big mistake by marrying a girl from Limpopo because she was going to milk him dry. The more Mpho spoke about her was the more I wanted to buy my mom’s advice of cancelling the wedding because it was going to put my life in danger. I asked Mpho how he was going to deal with the situation and he went “I am taking her to my dad’s other house together with the other relatives. Your mom and her boyfr…..uhm, Uncle Marcus can stay here with my parents and Eunice. I just want her to be away from you. She might try to do something bad”. Imagine living in fear in your own house because someone wanted to eradicate you permanently. I told Mpho to change the topic because it was depressing me. He whispered something in my ear and I smiled. I led the way. One of his uncles tried to stop us because he wanted to ask something about the wedding and Mpho told him we were going to Skype our wedding planner. I almost laughed at his lie. We locked our bedroom and got undressed. He looked at my tummy and went “yaz I feel bad my baby will swallow my come. What if it’s a girl and she get used to swallowing while she is still in there? Babe, I think we should condomise. I don’t want our child to be an expert of swallowing”. Lol Mpho’s dry jokes were funny.


I was so turned on all I wanted to do was to ride my man. It’s not a lie that when women are pregnant they crave it. I feel sorry for those who go through pregnancy without their partners around. Niggers have become experts of hit and run these days. You would swear pregnancy has a sign written ‘YOU CAN LEAVE HER NOW’. Back in the days pregnancy brought people together. These days it brings people in court, for maintenance. Just as Mpho was about to kiss my fine boobs his aunt appeared from the bathroom. She gave Mpho and I a fright because we didn’t expect anyone to be in our private space. We jumped to the bed and covered our bodies with sheets. She went “oh uhm, sorry my children. I was cleaning your bathroom. You know ke rata bo-skoen. I will teach your wife to clean when you are officially married”. The nerve of that woman!!!!! She didn’t even apologise for inconveniencing us in our own bedroom. That was our private space and she had no right to be in there. She continued “when were you planning to tell us she is pregnant? I knew you didn’t love her. You are only wedding her because she is carrying your child? Are you even sure the child is yours?”. Without wearing anything Mpho jumped off the bed and attacked his aunt. He beat her up until she bled. I quickly got dressed and went to call for help. I could see he wanted to kill her. Luckily the elders came to her rescue before he could kill her. I covered him with sheets. He told his father to take his sister away because she was not welcome in his house. It was at that stage that I believed what Dick said about his sister’s mental state. When I told my mom what happened she grabbed my hand and pulled me to Marcus’ car. She told me I was not going to sleep in that house because it was not safe. Marcus tried to calm her down but failed. She forced me in the car and we left…..with Marcus. I didn’t even have a chance to tell Mpho I was leaving. He was still in the house with his family. I didn’t even have my phone with me. I thought we were going to Phillip Nel but my mom told Marcus to drive to Phase 5 in Mamelodi. I asked her why we were going there and she told me “one day when you are a mother you will understand”. Parents love pulling that line when they don’t want to argue. From the gate of that house I could see we were at a sangoma’s house. I wondered how my mom knew a Mamelodi sangoma. I was still shaken by everything that happened. I didn’t even have any energy to tell my mom I didn’t want to see any sangoma. She told Marcus to remain in the car. My mom knocked on some black shack and a female voice told us to come in. The second we got in the sangoma went:


“I see a hearse, an ambulance, police cars and a white dress…. Vumani booooooooooooo!!!!!”








Dear fam,


I will post letters from tomorrow.


Allow me to take this opportunity to wish readers in Zimbabwe and Kenya speedy solutions to the political turbulence in their countries. May God be with you during these bumpy times.




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14 Comments on "Diary of a Side Chick – Makhwapheni Episode 446"

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Profs Mponyo

Any excuse for the delay 👀, thanks anyway for the revival 😆😆

Samuel Mbuvi

Here in kenya we dont recognize illigitimate presidents we only know one Raila Amollo Odinga otherwise you were off for a long time this episodes keep us busy away from the political scene.


Thanx Shaaz for our dose, had missed it big time and thanx for the thoughtfulness wish….
Zim Reader


Missed my dosage big time


Finally you back Shaz. Thank you. Please don’t forget to pray for KZN political assassinations. And please keep our inserts coming


Women just want to sleep with me because of my dick-size and they all keep wanting to come back for more, I’ve met someone i truly love and want to change this habits but women can’t stop seducing me…

Miss K

Thanks for coming back. I had missed you.

Also, thank you for the prayers. We shall continue to pray for peace in Kenya. Asante.


Vumani for the what?


Shaz we need an explanation for your delay in writing its not fair that you disappeared you better be constant this whole week otherwise I will come delete you permanently myself.


Welcome back, thanks for you concern, Kenyans we will overcome all haddles


You should tell us when you are going to stop writing so we KNOW. aretlo khotlela MASIPA!!!

note 8

Sharonistar odira byang mmarena


Kenya we are OK. We are only waiting for the swearing in.

Zim Chick

No shaz in zim we are celebrating. Aint no crisis here. If anything we are asking the soldiers,”Oe batla Kae”🤣🤣🤣🤣