“So educational and touching. Thanks for teaching us that the love of money and nice things only leads to disasters or worse” – Sammy Samantha
When a doctors say he has bad news for you there is no way you cannot panic. I know they say our lives are in the hands of the Man upstairs but whether it’s God’s time or not, you are likely to fart silently in your pants when you are told by the medicine man that his mouth bears bad news. I think doctors should try to be a bit romantic when they share their bad news. I know they have the obligation to be truthful but you can just bluntly drop a health bombshell on someone. The weaker ones will faint. I looked at Dr Mokoena straight in the eyes and went mute. I didn’t know what to say. What made my saliva dry was the fact that he didn’t seem to share my fear and sadness. He was wearing a normal face. When someone is about to tell you bad news they normally go on a somber mode before they utter any word. Dr Mokoena looked all normal. It was weird for someone who just told me they had bad news for me. He took his time to shape the words for me. I had not done any instant HIV tests but in my mind I was thinking “what if I am positive? What if he found HIV in my urine”. I know it’s dumb coming from someone who was once a student at a nursing college. When you are in a situation I was in your brain will show you flames. Instead of giving you two when you add one and one it will give you onety one. I felt my one eye deelevating a tear drop on my cheeks. Emotions were gathering in my heart. Fear was campaigning to take over my mind. I felt my knees going weak and fingers shaking. I wanted to tell him to stop torturing me and tell me whatever bad news he wanted to say. A little voice in my head went “what if he found small snakes in your urine? What if Eunice got a big snake and I was blessed with baby snakes?”. The more I thought about it the more my tear glands produced tears. Dr Mokoena held my hand and said “you look scared Ms Letsoalo. Well, the bad news is you will have to stop drinking your favourite Vodka. Congratulations, you and your husband are pregnant”.
It was not my first time hearing those words but that time around I was so happy I almost kissed Dr Mokoena. My heart went ‘goooo’ like Mmatema’s when they announced the Idols winner. I was proud of myself that I was going to give Mpho an heir. I thanked the doc for the good news. I didn’t even wait for him to make the speeches doctors make after giving their patients results. I told him to call me the following day and left the room. I wanted to share the good news with Eunice. She was filling forms when I got to the reception. She told me she was booking an appointment for herself. I asked why and she told me she was suspecting she had a bun in the oven. I went “go away with your suspicions. Mpho and I are expecting our first born. Mpho and I are pregnant my friend. And it’s not a snake inside me, it’s a baby”. I realized seconds later that I shouldn’t have said that. It was a slip of a tongue. She gave me a hug and congratulated me. She went “I think we should name your kid Survivor or Durban. I mean. You found out about our pregnancy a day after we survived that crap from Durban”. I told her she should give that name to her next snake. I think she didn’t get why I kept mentioning the snake because she was not aware it was taken out of her vjayjay. Our drive back home was very short. I couldn’t wait to share the good news with my hubby. Unfortunately when I got home he was not there. I called both his private and work phones but they were unreachable. I wanted to tell my mom but Eunice told me it would be better if I shared the good news with the father of the baby first. I just felt the urge to share the good news with someone nje. I kept trying Mpho’s phone but he was still unreachable. I assumed he was in an important meeting. I asked Eunice if we should go shopping for baby stuff and she gave me a snaaks look. I think she was not as happy as I was. She kept talking about her appointment the following. She told me she was not on a pill and she slept with her gangster boyfriend without protection.
By 21h00 Mpho was still not at home and his phone was off. I had no choice but to call his father to ask if he knew about Mpho’s whereabouts. Dick told me that he had no idea. I started panicking. When your husband is not home after 9pm and there is no call or text from him, you are bound to panic, especially after going through what we went thru in Durban. I couldn’t help it but think that maybe something bad had happened to him. Eunice suggested that we drive to his workplace. I agreed with her. I changed clothes and we drove to Mpho’s workplace. Eunice was like “what if Jobe’s people came to Joburg and kidnapped him? I don’t trust those guys. I think we should just go to the cops. I am having second thoughts about going to the office. If he was there he wouldn’t have switched his phones off”. I liked Eunice but sometimes she sounded like a combinations of Maite and Zee. She had a tendency of saying things without thinking. I doubt she was even aware that her words were hurting me. She was just talking nje. I told her to shut her mouth if she didn’t have anything constructive to say. She apologised and zipped her mouth. When we got to the office park the security guard wanted to give me hard time. I asked if he knew who I was and he went “wena do you know who I am? If you don’t know me why do you expect me to know you?”. Some security guards are rotten in the mouth. When I told him who I was he went done on his knees and apologised. He even offered to give me his full salary the way he was shaking. He thought I was gonna tell Mpho how he treated me. I asked if Mpho was still in the office park and he said yes. Part of me was relieved but another part asked why would Mpho switch his phones off if he was still at work? I asked the security for the second time and he went “madam, there is only one gate to exit this place. I see everyone leaving, especially big boss because he normally gives me leftovers when he leaves. I can confirm that he didn’t leave. You can go to his office and you will find him there.
I thanked the security guard and drove to the parking area. There were only two cars there. It was Mpho’s car and a Mini Cooper. Eunice looked at me and went “you should not let your husband work until this late. Hawu, when do you get to make love when he is at work this time of the night? If he was mine I would make sure by 6pm he is at home”. I ignored Eunice because she was talking nonsense. I didn’t like what my mind was thinking. There were only two cars there. Obviously I knew my husband’s car. I didn’t know who the Mini Cooper belonged to. Most Mini Coopers are driven by career women or girlfriends of rich men. I said “Eunice, I think Mpho is cheating on me. There are only two cars here. I have a feeling this Mini Cooper belongs to a woman Mpho is cheating me with. He has never knocked off this late before. When he has a lot to do he normally takes work home. He has an office in the house. Why would he, out of the blue, start working this late? If he is cheating I am gonna show him I can be worse than Jobe”. Eunice advised me against jumping into conclusions without evidence. I told her to get out of the car and follow me. She asked if I had a gun in the car and I said no. She was like “what if he is cheating for real? Are you gonna bite the girl until she dies? We need some weapons chomi”. I told her to shush and follow me. Mpho’s office was on the first floor. We walked up the stairs silently. I could see through the key hole that the light in his office was still on. Eunice whispered “chomi, don’t knock. Open the door slowly. We must find him on top of her”. My heart was beating very fast. If someone put a microphone next to it a Gqom beat was gonna come out. I pulled the handle down and the door opened. Booooom, there was nobody in the office. Mpho’s laptop and bag were also not there. I became more confused. The security guard told us that Mpho was still in the building mos. We got out of the office and closed the door. As we were about to leave, Eunice told me to keep quiet? I heard some funny voices coming from one of the offices at the end of the passages. I grabbed a vase on the table next to us and headed to the funny noises office. I touched my belly and said “Piet, if your dad is cheating I am gonna make you an orphan before you are born”.
Eunice opened the door and ……
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