Diary of a Side Chick – Makhwapheni Episode 442

“When are women going to learn you don’t bring another woman into to your marital house, period!!!!” – Keitumetse D Gardner


Friends are supposed to be the people you can go to when you need someone to talk to. They are supposed to be your shoulders when you need one to lean on. They are supposed to be people who will not betray you. One of the most important friendship codes is that a friend should be discreet about things told in confidence. A friend is not supposed to share things you told them in confidence with other parties. Once a person starts breaking that friendship code you must start drafting the obituary of your friends. A good friend will respect the code at all costs. Eunice was really my best friend because we had just met. We got closer because we survived an ugly ordeal together. It kinda brought us closer. I think the fact that she came from my home province also helped to bubblegum our new friendship. When Mpho showed me that text I knew she was the one who sold me out. She was the only person who knew about my pregnancy. Dr Mokoena understood Doctor-Patient confindetiality. There was no way it could have been him that leaked the information about my pregnancy to other people. My money was on Eunice. Mpho asked “you have two minutes to tell me what’s going on or else I will call the wedding planner and call this thing off? Start by telling me why this person is calling you love. Secondly, are you pregnant? If you are, why must I find out like this?”. I stuttered for good two minutes without knowing what to tell Mpho. I couldn’t answer the first question because I didn’t know where the text came from. The number was not saved in my phone. He looked at me and asked if he should call the wedding planner to cancel the meeting. I shook my head. He put his phone down and waited for me to start explaining. I went “I really don’t know this number so I don’t understand why this person is calling me love. Second question, yes I am pregnant. I only found out yesterday when I went to the doctor. I wanted to share the good news with you but your phone was off. I went to the office and you were not there. I came back home and you treated me like a little kid. How the hell was I supposed to tell you after the way you treated me?”


He accused me of making stupid excuses for not telling him the most important information in his life. I could see he was angry but he didn’t want to show it because we were in a public space. I apologised for the sake of peace but my apology didn’t dilute his anger. He whispered “I am probably the first person in my family to know about his wife’s pregnancy like this. Maybe you hid it from me because I am not the father. The person who is busy calling you love is the father. You went to the doctor without sharing it with me. I am so disappointed in you. Did he take you to the doctor?”. I told him to stop making a mountain out of an anthill. The wedding planner arrived while were busy arguing in whispers. She was a middle aged white woman. I asked Mpho in vernacular why he hired a white woman. The wedding planner went “ha ha ha oska warra. I am black inside. I went to school in Soweto. My friends call me Mapule but you can call me Mpule”. I thought to myself “we are about to get our land back. A white woman called Mpule?”. We got down to what she had in store for us. We went thru her ideas and changed them here and there. Mpho wasn’t participating much. He only nodded or shook his head when I asked him for his input. I think he was still angry at the fact that a stranger called me love and that I was pregnant and he didn’t know. The meeting went on for over an hour. I loved how clued up and sensitive Mpule was about our culture. She was indeed black inside. The pictures of our wedding venue were off the hook. The wedding was going to be at some lodge not far from Hartbeespoort. Mpho wanted us to get married in his home province of North West.  I asked the wedding planner if she had capacity to pull the wedding in such short space of time and she went “oska warra, I have my tokoloshis. We will work 24/7 if we have to. Wena you just need to relax and let me organize you the wedding of the year. I want your big day to be memorable. I can promise you on that one”. I gave her a hug and thanked her for meeting us.



I was so excited after the meeting. My wedding was finally happening. I remembered I was not done sending invitations to my close friends and families. Mpho paid the bill and we drove home. I asked him if he was not going back to the office and he said “why? You want go to your boyfriend and celebrate the pregnancy? It’s fine, I’ll go if you want me to go. Akere this is your house”. I told him to stop being petty. Mind you, we were in the garage that time. He asked me to hand over my phone. I asked him why and he told me he wanted to call the person who sent me the text. I wanted to say no but couldn’t find a good excuse. I handed him my phone and headed to the house. I wanted to deal with Eunice. I didn’t have a problem leaving my phone with Mpho because I knew all incriminating evidence was deleted. I found Eunice cooking in the kitchen. The food smelled nice but that was the last thing in my mind. I went “wena mother of snake, who did you tell about my pregnancy? You are the only one who knew about it. Some unknown person sent me a text congratulating me and now Mpho is angry. How can you share such information with other people when you are the same person who told me not to tell anyone before telling Mpho?”. Eunice pleaded ignorance. She told me her phone was off and that she never left the house. I could see in her eyes that she was lying. Before I could accuse her of being a liar Mpho came and handed the phone to me. There was someone on the line. I asked who it was and the person said “hello Shaz, it’s Pulane. I am the one who sent you a text earlier. I bumped into Zee and she told me you were pregnant. Congratulations my friend. Now I understand why you have been missing classes”. Nxa I was angry at Zee for being a liar. Mpho looked relieved the text was not from a man. I was also relieved and pissed at same time. Zee wasn’t even sure I was pregnant. She saw me once at Dr Mokoena’s Health Reproductive Centre and assumed I was pregnant. Nxa what a fool!!!! People who meddle in matters than has nothing to do with them will not see the gates of heaven.


I told Pulane I would call her later. Mpho asked to talk to me in private. We went to our bedroom. He asked why I never told him before going to the doctor and how other people knew before him. I explained to him that I went to the doctor before going to Durban and that the tests were not completed because he called me to come home. He said “you should have told me. I am part of this. I would have taken a day off to drive you to the doctor. I wanted to be the first person to know. I want to be part of this child from day until birth. You are not pregnant, we are pregnant. From today until you give birth I will knock off at 14h30. I want to bond with my child. I will hire a fulltime nurse to take care of you. I am also considering a bodyguard for you. I don’t want anything to go wrong”. Tjo hubby was exaggerating bathong. I told him I was not carrying Princess Diana’s grandchild. He told me he didn’t give a toss about Princess Diana’s grandchild. According to him, the life I was carrying inside me was the most important person earth. Truth be told, pregnancy has its ups and downs but when both parents are fully committed it helps to make every moment enjoyable. Every woman wants a man to touch the belly and feel the baby kicking. These days you tell a guy you are pregnant and he disappears like Khanyi Mbau’s original complexion. Guys must tell us why they score if they don’t intend to celebrate the goal. I apologised for not telling him when I suspected I was pregnant. He touched my belly and said “now I have a reason to work hard. I want to make sure you and the person inside live comfortably with everything you want. Sharon my love, you just made me the happiest man on earth”. He called his father to tell him the good news. He put him on loudspeaker for me to hear. Dick went “if the child is yours, congratulations. At least you don’t fire blanks ha ha ha ha ha ha ha”. Mxm Dick was such a dick. His joke was not funny. He wanted to plant stupid ideas in Mpho’s head. Mpho told me he was taking me to Cape Town to celebrate the good. I asked when and he said “now. We will come back tomorrow. We will use my father’s friend’s private jet”. Wow I felt so special. I was thirsty, so I went to the kitchen to get some water. Eunice was not there.


Before I could open the fridge I felt something cold massaging my feet.








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