Diary of a Side Chick – Makhwapheni Episode 443

“Y are not just a writer but a teacher. Your Diary comes with life lessons that not only teach but educate the world at large for free. Continue inspiring and blessing us with your Diary. Thank you so much” – Otty Sierra Moyo (DOSC-M reader)


Many black people do not take trauma seriously. I know we have our own ways of dealing with trauma but some do not consider seeking help after going thru a traumatic situation. We have a large percentage of us believing it is a Western concept. I used to believe that before I went to the nursing college. I used to bottle up everything and never bothered to seek help. The only time we generally seek help is when there is a physical injury. Mental and emotion wellbeing is equally important bathong. The sooner people realize that the better. Some people are still haunted by events that happened many years ago because they never sought help. I did what any normal girl could have done. I screamed my lungs out and Mpho came running. My eyes were closed because I didn’t want to see what was between my legs. It didn’t feel like a snake but that was the first thing I thought of. I was still suffering from a hangover of what I saw coming out of Eunice’s cookie. Mpho went “what is wrong bab…..oh, it’s a puppy? How did it get here? I think it belongs to our neighbour. I have seen it several times next to their gate. I will take it to them. It seems very cold. Shame poor thing!!!!!”. Mpho carried it like it was a baby. Apparently men who love pets are good with kids. I could see Mpho was going to be a good father. I was still shaking when Mpho carried that small dog to its owners. It was Eunice’s fault that I almost fainted. She left the door open. I wondered where she headed to because she didn’t say anything about going somewhere. Mpho came back and asked if I was ready to fly to Cape Town. I told him to give me 20 minutes. He asked if I trusted Eunice and I went “I don’t think she has bad intentions. She seems like someone we can trust”. He asked because we were about to leave her in our house on her own. Mpho said “but I think we should tell the security guards to keep an eye on her. They should not let her leave the complex with any luggage”. I suggested Dick co-housesitting and Mpho went “you know if my dad comes here he will want to sleep with her. Let’s just pray she doesn’t do anything stupid. We know her crib in Durban”.


I went back to my bedroom to call Eunice. I wanted to tell her we were flying to Cape Town to celebrate my pregnancy. She told me she was taking a walk at the park in the complex. Shem, maybe the snake was tired of sitting indoors. I asked her to be back in less than 10 minutes because Mpho and I were preparing to leave. Hubby had already organized the private jet for us. You know you have arrived when you fly in private jets. I was living the life. Eunice came back as we were about to leave. I asked if she was going to be cool by herself for one night. She went “if you are worried about me stealing I can go sleep at a hotel. I won’t be mad at you. I know we just met and I don’t expect you to trust a stranger”. Lol she sounded like she was trying to make me feel guilty. I told her it was not even about trust. Mpho said “look, we don’t have a problem with you staying in the house in our absence. We know you won’t steal from us. Sharon was just worried about you being alone in the house after everything that happened to us. If you are cool then we are sorted. We will see you tomorrow”. She asked if she we wanted her to drop us at OR Tambo. Mpho told her that we were gonna drive to Lanseria because the private jet was there. She went “my friend, you are a very lucky woman. I don’t know you guys well but I can feel it in my blood that only death can separate you. I can’t wait to celebrate your big day with you. Maybe I will meet potential bae there”. Mpho laughed and wished her good luck. Hubby carried our bags to the car. He didn’t want me to carry anything because I was pregnant. When I told her I was still in a state to do physical tasks he went “maybe I should remind you that you are carrying my heir in there. I don’t want anything to happen to him. I am looking forward to being the best dad ever. I know I said this before, by making me a child you became my permanent soul mate. We must do our best to ensure this relationship lasts forever. I don’t want my child to grow up without both parents under the same roof”.



Just as Mpho was about to start the car my phone rang. I didn’t know the number. I asked who it was and a female voice went “Hi, is this Sharon Letsoalo?”. I said yes and she said “I am JT’s friend or something like that. She asked me to call you to tell you that she was shot. She is in hospital right now. She gave me your number before the doctors took her to one of those scary places with people wearing blue things. She is at Louis Pasteur”. Damn, that call literally made me go weak. JT was not just a friend, she was someone who would drop whatever for me. She bailed me out many times. She was forever there when I needed her. She was more of a sibling to me. Mpho asked if I was okay and I told him JT was shot. He asked if she was still alive and I said yes. He went “it’s pity we are flying to Cape Town. We will visit her tomorrow when we come back”. Mpho didn’t get it. JT was the very same person that helped him when he went back to Durban to look for me. She drove to Durban when I told her I was in danger. That is someone that deserves support no matter what. I said “Mpho, what you just said is the most selfish thing I ever heard. If it was one of your friends you wouldn’t say that. Remember what happened when we were in Sun City? Remember why we left? JT is my friend and I am going to Pretoria to see her right now, whether you like it or not. I can’t go celebrate in Cape Town when my friend is lying in hospital”. Mpho accused me of putting friends before our family. I think Mpho didn’t understand the special bond I shared with JT. I went “babe, I love you and I’m 100% committed to this family. Can’t you just stop being selfish for once and help me support my friend? What if she dies tonight?”. He told me that my presence at the hospital was not going to make any difference. I opened the boot and took out my bags in silence. I was not going to romance his selfishness with a response. He remained in the car. I wondered why JT never told me she was coming back to Gauteng. The last time we communicated she said she was still enjoying Durban cakes.


I didn’t even tell Eunice about JT. I knew she wouldn’t understand. She was probably going to tell me to fly to Cape Town with my husband. I used my car to drive to Pretoria. I called JT’s friend to tell her I was on my way. When I got to the hospital, the doctor was about to brief the girl. He told her they managed to remove the bullets from her body. JT was critical but stable. I thanked madlozi and God for not killing her. Unfortunately they didn’t allow us to see her. I asked the girl who she was and how JT was shot. She told me “I met JT in Durban and we came to together. She was shot by some guys in a car with KZN registration number. I think they wanted to kill her. We didn’t even get to her place. Her car is with the cops. Maybe they are doing investigations on it. I am glad she is alive”. I wondered why KZN people would want to kill JT. The first suspects were Jobe’s people. Maybe they wanted to make her pay for the role she played at Jobe’s house. I asked the girl if she needed anything. She told me she needed a place to sleep. She didn’t know anyone in Joburg except for JT. With JT fighting for her life she was stranded. I told her “you can sleep at my place tonight. Maybe tomorrow JT will be up and she’ll tell you where to find keys to her place”. We left the hospital around 7pm. I was sad I didn’t get to see my friend. I tried to call Mpho to tell him I was coming with someone but his phone was off. When I got to the house Mpho’s car was not there. The lights in the house were off. I wondered where Mpho and Eunice were. I tried to call Mpho but his phone was still off. I couldn’t call his father because of what happened the previous day. I showed JT’s girl her bedroom for the night and she thanked me. She looked so heartbroken. She probably thought she was gonna have fun in Joburg. Zulu girls from KZN go crazy when they think of Joburg. I asked if she needed anything to eat and she said no. She didn’t have any appetite. Shame, the poor girl was stressed. I called Mpho again and his phone was off. I called Eunice and she was in a noisy place.


I asked where she was and she said “Long Street my friend. It’s happening”.









Dear Shaz,


I am a guy aged 39 and my wife is 38. I don’t have any kids but she has two from previous relationships. When she is angry she reminds me that I fire blanks. Sometimes she does it in front of her kids. I feel so disrespected because I am the one feeding all of them. We make love only when she is in a mood. She once told me it was useless to make love with me because I fired blanks. I love my wife but her words hurt me. It’s not my choice that I cannot have kids. Will it be worth it to quit my 15 years marriage at my age?




41 thoughts on “Diary of a Side Chick – Makhwapheni Episode 443”

  1. dear step daddy

    some things are not worth it, it’s clear your wife has zero respect for you. not only does she lack respect but it seems as if you’re in an emotional abusive marriage. I just wonder ukuthi how the kids look at you when she does that, that must be very painful. side note: sometimes it so does happen that (sorry I’m gonna say it in zulu) amagazi wenu awahlangani and not that you fire blanks. sometimes people will be in relationships/marriages for years and not conceive but when they break up, meet new people-it doesn’t take long for them to conceive-u guy a pregise his new partner and u girl a pregiswe yi new partner. all the best.

  2. Stepdad, i see no point in staying with someone who will constantly hurt you emotionally. If it was you saying such about her being barren I’m pretty sure it would be labelled unacceptable by many. If you have tried to address this and yielded no results, I advise you to leave her. Why should a man firing blanks be made to take care of some ungrateful pig, and be constantly reminded of his inability?

  3. Step dad
    You are still young, and she is emotionally abusing you! Have you been to a urologist who told you, you are the problem? Your relationship is toxic stru!

  4. Your wife is so heartless, I wonder why she’s saying all that. That time some of us are single and looking for men, some women are busy taking their men for granted wow

  5. Hi Shaz and Stepdaddy, unfortunately your sperm count wont increase if you are unhappy. Not only is your wife disrespecful but she lacks humanity. You need someone who’s going to love you as you are and not throw your impeferfections to your face. Talk to your wife, tell her that her words hurt you. If she still continues, seek help from a Psychologist, if that too fails then you need to ask yourself whether its worth it. Remember, you matter. You are special.

  6. Long street!?! Le Mpho?


    Brother, such disrespect…. It’s unheard of.
    I don’t see anything that will change after u have spoken with her as I am sure u have tried to address the matter.

  7. Dear step daddy,
    They say life beings at 40. find yourself someone who is loving and will love you for who you are and be happy, theres no point staying in a love less toxic marriage…move on mrena, you are still young and can find a good woman to marry and still have kids

  8. Ha monna tuwe!!!!!!!! You already raised her kids for the past 15 years while men who fired real shots left her so its time for you to go somewhere else were you will be respected and loved. Stop worrying about your age because life starts at 40. Let her see herself out with her real shot she got.

  9. Dear step dad…. u got married at 19 with an 18 yr old already a mother of 2? Tjooo unbelievable!!! Or is that perhaps 5 yrs and not 15 yrs in marriage?

  10. Shazistoz thnx for the story. This Mpho is a mental case, he can’t be trusted with his own brain let alone someone else’s heart.
    Say what Stepdaddy! And U just seat & what that abuse? No, scrap that, it’s more than abuse, its the lowest form of disrespect. I wudn’t stand such. I wud rather leave alone. U can find somebody who respects & appreciates U.
    Even better still, find a woman who can’t have kids too & the 2 of U adopt 1 or 2kids. U cud give so much love to more deserving ppl

  11. Step Dad,
    You are a very brave and strong man to withstand such emotional abuse. There are not many a man that shall stand for such more so in front of “your” children. What behavior are you teaching them towards their future relationships? Either domestic or other wise. Let alone the Gender difference a simple relation between two people! If you have any self esteem left in you respect yourself enough to act accordingly. Ijhoo…….adding to the thousands of broken men leaving in our society. Respect yourself maan, Mxm!

  12. I do trust all of the ideas you’ve presented to your post.
    They are very convincing and will definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are very quick for newbies.
    May you please lengthen them a little from subsequent time?
    Thanks for the post.

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