“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time” – Mark Twain
You know you are in deep emotional pain when you are sitting but feel like you don’t have a bum. When you feel like your head is suspended in the air without a neck. It is in that instance that the only thing that makes sense would be to cry. Those who lost parents, kids and close family members know what I am talking about. You will look at the casket and hope to see the person walking out of it and run to you for a warm hug. Those are the salads of thoughts that got cooked in my mind. I was hoping and wishing for Mpho to appear from somewhere and shower me with the smile he used to marinade my heart with. The sounds of SAPS car sirens caught everyone’s attention. I was not allowed to leave the marque because I was the widow. Curiosity was getting the best of me. I wanted to see what was going on outside. People started leaving the marque. Black people are curious beings. I am sure some of them had their phones ready to record what was happening. By the look of thing Mpho’s family was well known in the area. I was not surprised when everyone grew interest to want to know what was really happening outside. Within couple of minutes I saw two cops entering the marque. As expected people took out phones and started capturing every moment. I could see the cops were looking for something or someone. I saw one cop pointing at my direction and the next thing they walked towards me. My mind wandered all over. I was trying to remember if I had committed crime in the past few days. I thought of what my mom did with the knife at Marcus’ house. Maybe the family member that got scratched laid charges against my mom. That was the only thing I could think of at that moment. I was already thinking of which cop to bribe. This is South Africa, people get arrested for murder and released same day because of lack of evidence or docket stolen. I slowly and strategically took off my wedges and prepared myself to run. There was no way I was going to sleep in prison on the day my husband was getting buried. It took the police more than 10 minutes to reach where I was sitting because people were blocking their way.
When they got to where I was sitting I quickly stood up and prepared myself for some Caster Semenya action. I was not going to let people capture my arrest. Imagine cops handcuffing you in front of thousands of people at your husband’s funeral. Knowing black people, they would make up stories about me killing my husband for money. We are the most creative people when coming to making up stories about things we know nothing about. A person dies now and an hour later there are more than 10 stories of how the person died. “Christina Moloi, you are under arrest for Conspiracy to Commit Murder, Defeating the Ends of Justice and Theft. You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say can and will be used against you in the court of justice. You have the right to a lawyer, if you can’t afford one the state will provide,” the cop recited the rights to the lady next to me. Everyone was shocked in the marque. I think I was more shocked than everyone there. In my mind the cops were looking for me or my mother. I really didn’t see it coming. The lady didn’t even argue with the police, she gave them her hands to be cuffed. It was like she knew they were looking for her. I looked at her eyes and didn’t see any remorse. My blood boiled on the spot. I felt pity for her when she came to Phillip Nel and told me she was feeling the pain after Mpho’s death. She played with my emotions and I almost believed her. I still had the wedges in my hand. I threw them at her. One of them hit her on the face and the other one hit the cop. I looked around for more weapons but there was none near me. I decided to handle her like a WOMAN. I approached her like a crocodile gunning for a thirsty impala at the river. Within few seconds I managed to throw couple of punches. I was screaming as I hit her. “You are a bloody witch. Why did you kill him? How are you gonna leave your life knowing that you stole my happiness? You will never go to heaven. I hope you rot in jail together with the people who helped you to kill my husband”.
By the time the cops separated me from her she was already bleeding. One cop threatened to arrest me and I told him to go ahead. I didn’t care about any crap at that stage, all I wanted was to see that woman dead. My mom appeared from nowhere and tried to calm me down. I told her the woman killed Mpho and she lost it. She wanted to continue from where I left off but she was overpowered by the cops and some men. The cops quickly took the woman away. The place was full of chaos with everyone trying to get the best pictures and videos. I fell in my mom’s arms and started crying. The program director tried to calm everyone down but failed. People wanted the drama to continue. My mom whispered “I am sorry I was not here when everything started. I went to the police station with some of Mpho’s relatives to bail Dick out. He got arrested for shooting his sister’s leg in the middle of the night. He got information that she connived with some people to kill Mpho. This family is a mess my baby. I am glad you won’t be part of it anymore. After this funeral I don’t ever want to see you next to them”. I knew in my heart that Mpho’s aunt had everything to do with his death. I was not surprised when my mom confirmed it. She was probably planning to have the other girl inherit everything so they could share. The love of money is turning people into monsters. The funeral service only resumed after an hour. It was so sad to witness drama at a funeral of a man who lived his life peacefully. A very broken Dick was sitting not far from me with his other relatives. I could tell he didn’t change clothes because he had blood stains on his sleeves. After the service we drove to the cemetery, Mpho’s last home. It was the most heartbreaking scene ever to see Mpho’s casket consumed by the earth in front of my eyes. I cried until my eyes adopted Day Zero. My mom and other women tried to comfort me but it was difficult. At some stage I fell to the ground because my legs couldn’t carry the pain anymore.
It was even more painful to think that people who took part in his murder were beneficiaries of his good heart. He took care of them of them financially. It is true that people we care about are the ones likely to kill us. After the cemetery service we drove back to the house. Dick came and advised me to leave as soon as possible because the place was very unsafe for me. He told me he was going to Kenya with his wife for few days because his safety was also compromised. I wanted to ask about Mpho’s assets but my heart thought against it. I didn’t want to sound like I only cared about Mpho’s belongings. After talking to Dick my mom and the bodyguards came to fetch me and we hit the road back to Pretoria. I took a very long shower and slept afterwards when we got to Pretoria. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. Luckily my mom and Marcus didn’t bother me. Around midnight my phone rang. I answered and a male voice went “thanks for answering. I thought you would be sleeping by now. My name is Adv Kaizer Motlhatlhedi. I have helped Dick and Mpho with legal matters in the past. Dick has asked me to drop some documents at your place before I join him in Kenya early in the morning for some legal matters we need to discuss. I am sorry for coming this late. I had no choice because I still have to drive to North West and come back to Gauteng and fly to Kenya. I am outside your gate right now”. The surname rang a bell but the name was unfamiliar. It was a bit strange for him to rock up at my gate that time of the night. I told him I was not comfortable with seeing strangers that time of the night. He went “I am not here to cause any harm. I am the one who helped to release Dick when he was arrested last night. I am the one who helped the cops with Mpho’s case. I am the reason they arrested that woman. I am working closely with Dick to get to the bottom of what happened to Mpho. Only you and I know Dick is hiding in Kenya. Why would I know such privileged information if I am here to cause harm. You need to trust me on this one”. He was very convincing. I wanted to knock at Marcus’ bedroom to tell them about Adv Motlhatlhedi but heard some funny noises. My mother had nawa for days. She was probably on top of poor Marcus. I had no choice but to go alone. My aim was not to unlock the gate, I was planning to call Adv and ask him to throw the files over the gate. There was no way I was going to trust the stranger just like that.
I opened the main door of the house and the next thing I felt a glove covering my mouth.