Marriage on the ROX
I regretted asking the question when my mom closed her eyes instead of answering it. I knew I made a big mistake that had a potential to endanger my mother’s health. I told her to forget I asked that question. She gave a heavy sigh and opened her eyes. She looked at me and said “I love you very much my daughter. Had you asked me this question before the pastor prayed for me I was going to die. You know, as a mother sometimes I had to take unpopular decisions just for you to be where you are today. Please allow me to get back to my healthy status and we will have a long talk about everything you want to know. You are old now”. Her words were so motherly. On previous occasions she practically lost it whenever I raised any talk of my biological father. I said “it’s okay mama. We don’t have to talk about this anymore. You and dad raised me very well and I don’t see a reason why I should worry about someone who didn’t care about me for so many years. I am sorry I raised this topic. Please forgive me”. She closed her eyes again and told me I was old enough to know the truth. After that she nicely asked me to leave because she wanted to rest. I think she was in pain but trying her best to hide it from me. I kissed her and said “I love you mommy”. She responded with a sweet whisper. Before I could leave she told me Lesley’s mother forget car keys on her hospital bed. It was a relief because I was about to wonder how I was gonna go back home. I walked to my car. It took me few minutes to find it because I didn’t know where mommy parked it. I sat in my car and cried for more than 10 minutes. I had a feeling that something was going to change my life and I was not sure if I was ready for it. I called Lesley and cried louder when he answered. He asked if my mom was okay and I failed to answer because my vocal cords were deployed to the crying department. He hung up on me. When I called back his number was busy. I assumed he was calling me back but no call came thru. He called after 3 minutes. He told me he was talking to his mother to ask about my mother’s health. I told him that I was the only one at the hospital and that my mom was making progress. He asked me why I was crying and I said “I miss you babe”.
He went silent for few seconds then went “I miss you too”. I heard something that sounded like a cough of a woman in the background. I asked him about it and he told me I was imagining things. I asked if he had company and he told me the only company he had in the house were my teddy bears. Jealousy and insecurity kicked in. I think most women go thru this. There’s always that 10th sense that whispers something in your ear when your man is up to no good. I hung up and video-called him. He didn’t answer my video call immediately. It took him couple of rings for him to answer. I asked him why he took too long to answer and he told me he was still trying to digest why I was acting funny. I looked closely at his video screen to see if he was alone. He was the only person who appeared. I went “if you have that hoe called Ayanda in my house I’m gonna show flames you when I come back. No wonder you sent your parents here. You were supposed to be the one supporting me but you chose to send your parent. Mxm I knew you were up to no good”. He asked me if I was done being crazy and I said “nxa”. He hung up on me. I called him back and his phone was off. His mom called after few minutes to ask if I was fine. I told her I was fine. She told me Lesley told her about the crying. I told her I was just being emotional because of my mother’s situation. She went “oh my baby girl. I am so sorry. Your mom will be fine. We just need to keep her in our prayers. By the way, where are you? We brought you food but when we got to the house you were not here”. I told her I was at the hospital to fetch my car. She advised me to go back home because they wanted us to pray as a family. I told her I was on my way. She was like “oh uhm… I just realised I forgot your car there. It’s a blessing you are there now. I think the keys are on your mother’s bed. Age is catching up with me”. I started the engine and drove towards Seshego. I tried to call Lesley again but his phone was still off. The fact that he switched his phone off after I asked about Ayanda increased my suspicions.
I hit a U-Turn and headed towards N1. It was one of those decisions motivated by emotional zigzagging. I switched my phone off to avoid calls from Lesley’s mother. The thought of another woman sleeping with Lesley on my bed made the contents of my brain boil. I was driving between 120km/h and 180km/h. When you feel the way I was feeling thinking about accidents would be the last thing in your mind. Couple of kilometres after passing Carousel Tollgate I had a puncture. Damn I felt like ancestors were against me. Maybe they were angry about my decision to drive back to Joburg without telling my parents. I had no choice but to switch on my phone to call roadside assistance. My hands were too soft to be touching tyres. It was so dark I felt unsafe. There were so many missed call notifications from the elders at home. I didn’t even open the Messages app because I didn’t want to see what they sent. I kept calling the roadside assistance guys to ask how far they were. Their 10 minutes away became an hour. I was bloody pissed when they got there. I reminded them that they got their salaries because of people like me. One of them told me straight that “my sister, I know you are a client but please respect us. Having money doesn’t mean you should look down at other people. We need your money and you need our service. Now shut up and let us do our job”. Oh Gosh, if I wasn’t desperate I would have told him to shove the stupid service in his butt. People think we pay money for their arrogance and useless service. As soon as they were done changing the tyre I continued with my journey. What was supposed to take me less than three hours took me almost 5 hours. I parked my car in front of the gate because I didn’t want Lesley to have a chance to hide Ayanda. I wanted to catch them red-handed in the bedroom. I didn’t even care about the car being stolen. Our suburb had night neighbourhood watch. I tiptoed to the door and made sure the door didn’t make any noise. I passed by the kitchen to fetch a knife. I tiptoed to the bedroom. So many stupid thoughts were running thru my mind. I was asking myself who to stab first.
I opened the bedroom door and switched on the light.