My Rich Nigerian Boo – Chapter 20

“Be willing to step outside your comfort zone once in a while. Take the risks in life that seem worth taking. The ride might not be as predictable if you’d just planted your feet and stayed out, but it will be a heck of a lot more interesting.” – Edward Whitacre Jr

You know a person is heartless when they take someone’s life like they are killing a bird. I knew those guys were involved in criminal activities, but I didn’t expect them to be that ruthless and heartless. Ifechi made my life a living hell but I didn’t expect his life to end like that. I watched him as his body reached the floor. An Amazon of blood followed. “Why are you pointing your guns at me now? We agreed you will smoke him and I will pay you. The deal has not changed. And with him out of the picture, we are taking over the business,” Una said. He wasn’t shaking or panicking. If someone who had just killed a person pointed a gun on me, the only logical thing to do would be to engage in solid menstruation through my anus. Their guns had silencers. It was quite clear the murder was well-planned.


The fat guys spoke in some funny language which I didn’t understand. Una took the bag full of money and handed it to them. Part of me wanted to grab the bag from them but I was not ready to visit Bra God. They thanked Una and left. I asked Una why he gave them money and he told me he was going to make ten times what they took from the merchandise in the other bag. My eyes went back to Ifechi who was lying on the floor motionless. I started crying and shaking. Una told me I needed to shut up because I was making it difficult for him to think. He told me we needed to get rid of the body as soon as possible. I told him I was not going to touch dead bodies. “Do you want me to leave you here with this body,” he charged.

He gave me a glass of water. Few minutes after drinking my vision got blurry. Jiki jiki gone ka boroko. I woke up with babalaz. For few minutes I didn’t know where I was. It looked like a hotel. Una was by the window busy on a phone call. “Where am I?” I asked myself. Una turned around and told whoever he talking to that he would call them back. He smiled and asked if I had beautiful dreams. I asked him where I was and he told me we were in Nigeria. I jumped off the bed and screamed. He grabbed me and covered my mouth with his palm. “What’s wrong with you? I am just kidding. We are at a hotel in Menlyn, Pretoria. I am not a monster like your ex Ifechi. I will treat you like a princess that you are. All you have to do it give me a chance,” he said caressing my arm.

“I don’t know what you smoked but I don’t like it. Do you really think I would give myself to a stranger, just like that? I have had it with your people. I just want to live a normal life of a student. What did you do with Ifechi? And how did we get here? What did you do to me?” I said walking backwards. I was getting uncomfortable with him. He opened a man bag next to the bed and took something out. “There is a BMW convertible in the parking lot. Here are the keys. It’s all yours to drive from your place to school. If you have any friend, please call her and go for a drive. See this as a token of appreciation for helping me with Project I.” I was so wowed I didn’t know what to say. I grabbed the Beemer key and kissed Una. There was no way I was going to say no to slahla….NEVER.

He walked me to the parking lot. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the car. I pictured myself driving past the BP garage ko Transfer in Soshanguve with the guys whistling for me. We went to the shops and Una spent R30 000 on my clothes and iPhone X. After shopping he told me he was going to Nigeria for few days to sort out some family stuff. I wanted to ask what he did with Ifechi’s body but decided not to. I didn’t want to spoil the moment. I got in the car and drove to Soshanguve. I wanted to see my mom and little brother. When I passed di-XX via Mapobane Highway I played Amapiano, just for control nje. I wanted to make a Queening entrance. My mom was so happy to see me. She couldn’t stop talking about Ifechi. She asked if I had any plans to invite me over for supper. When she saw the car she lost it. She ran up and down thanking God, ancestors, Bushiri, satan etc. The neighbours’ curtains kept shaking. Hayi kasi people!!!!

Spending time with my family did me good. It made me forgot the stuff I experienced both in Joburg and Durban. I only got pissed when my mom asked about her son-in-law Ifechi. I almost told her the dog was dead. I spent three nights in Soshanguve. I couldn’t wait to show my car to Marcia. I knew she was going to pretend to be happy for me. These girls with big foreheads are very good at this pretending game. You would swear their big foreheads are storing jealousy inside. I missed her though. My mom was so sad when I told her I was going back to school. She took over 100 selfies inside my car. I knew she was going to send all of them to her stockvel Whatsapp group. Our mothers love bragging hle. When I got to Braam I remembered I didn’t have parking for my Nunu, yes I named my car Nunu. I had to go to the security guards to organise parking. Before I could even greet the guard pointed at some Nigerian-looking woman sitting on the chair not far from us.

“That woman has been waiting for you since 8am. Go talk to her”



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